"Would you go back there again?" This is always a question we get asked when we return from a trip and my response is always the same, 'I never plan to return to the same place twice, there's a whole world to see!' I don't know that I'll ever be on the leader board of the 'Most Traveled People' - it's really a thing - but there are 195 countries and I've only seen 26. I've got a long way to go!
There is something comfortable about the predictable. We go camping with a ton of family each summer at the same place. It's something we can all afford, we enjoy the time together and there's no need to come to consensus across a large group of people to do something different. The kids know the activities and know what to look forward to. They are even able to do hiking and creek play more independently because they know how to do it safely. All valid reasons to do the same thing each year. Good business models also rely on loyal customers who return for a second or third helping of whatever is being served. So it's not unusual that we've been taught to judge a good vacation spot on if someone is willing to keep going back time and time again. If that family goes there every year, it must be the best. If you really enjoy this destination, you would go back, right? Why? In part, I think it's because it becomes comfortable.
The first thing you need to do when you start traveling abroad is embrace the slight discomfort of the unknown and quite honestly, start getting comfortable with slightly being a fool. The resiliency you build as you navigate make mistakes navigating these new environments is part of the fun! I do a significant amount of research before I visit a country. I want to know their basic customs, how to interact with people, how I should dress because I want to be respectful but I also recognize that I go there to experience and learn their culture and ways of life and it's completely unreasonable to think that I'm going to get it all correct.
Part of the adventure is learning as you go, observing and copying actions, making corrections. When in Rome, right? (Pro tip: learn how to appropriately apologize or excuse yourself in the local language, it goes a long way!) Sometimes it's big things, but often times it's the mundane daily ways of life. For example, a couple of years ago we traveled to the Patagonia region of Chile. We were in the small city of Punta Arenas and we had a rental car. We had found a cute coffee shop downtown that we were visiting but we needed to street park and pay for the parking. We weren't sure how to pay for parking though.
I probably could have asked somebody, but my Spanish was rusty and I hate assuming people know English. I noticed that there were people in yellow vests walking along the streets putting 'tickets' on people's cars. I instantly thought that this was a bad thing and I needed to avoid getting a 'ticket', because in the US a ticket is a violation. But as I observed, I saw that every car was getting a ticket so maybe it's not a bad thing. Then as I sat in the coffee shop, I observed that someone was coming out to their car, getting the ticket off their car, and wandered up the street to one of the workers with the yellow vest and giving them money. I observed they weren't arguing so it must not have been a bad thing. After a lovely lunch, I came out to our car which now had a ticket on it, looked at the ticket and it gave a couple options to pay the parking fee (not a violation). I then walked up the street to the lady in the yellow vest and without saying anything, I gave a friendly smile and the ticket. She scanned the ticket and then showed me an amount on the screen. I pulled the appropriate amount out of my pocket and gave it to her. She nodded and printed a little receipt and I was on my way. I was very proud to have figured out the 'system'. It was counter intuitive for me and if I come in with a set of expectations for how a parking system should work, I would have been very flustered. But this is part of the adventure and through observation, I figured it out.
It's been fun to start engaging with our kids as they get older, asking them what they think is going on and how to handle it. They are developing a knack for social intelligence where body language and tone are in the focus of figuring out situations when you don't have words to make sense of. Could we look like fools in scenarios like this? Absolutely, and that's ok. What's important is that we show respect, laugh at ourselves and move on with a positive attitude.
The discomfort which new environments create is actually this tremendous opportunity to build agility and resiliency in ourselves and demonstrate that to our kids. The world is our playground and we have so much left to see and explore. Why go back to the same place twice?
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